Fifth Floor

Molly Mattocks spent nearly a decade in full-time ministry before her three-year-old daughter was diagnosed with cancer. She then spent the next decade as a full-time caregiver, until together they made the decision to stop treatment. Everything she thought she knew for sure in that first decade fell to the earth and shattered in the second. Because what works in a church pew doesn't work in a children's hospital. With heartache and humility Mattocks provides sacred glimpses of life on the oncology unit, discovering that while her body has never been more tired, her soul has never been more fully awake. As patients around them continue to die and her own daughter's disease continues to progress, Mattocks begins to wonder if systematic theology has taught us to expect something from God that is far more human than it is divine. The Fifth Floor is an anthem for anyone that has lived with unanswered prayers or been taught to believe that God somehow needed their suffering to execute his plan. It's a story of dying to doctrines, surrendering certainty, and learning to leave some questions unanswered. Ultimately, it's a story that asks, What if the structured system of faith we have designed to better understand our Creator actually limits our ability to fully see him?