Return the Cart.

Somewhere right now, an abandoned shopping cart is rolling slowly toward a stranger's car. Somebody left it there. This book is for that somebody.

We all know the rules. Take your cup to the kitchen. Use your indicator. Let people off the elevator first. Don't send "Hi" and then wait two days to say what you want.

And yet.

Return the Cart. is a collection of 100 painfully obvious rules for living among other humans - the things nobody should have to say out loud, written down anyway, because apparently we've reached that point.

Inside you'll find:

• 100 short, funny, brutally relatable rules covering home, work, driving, supermarkets, group chats, restaurants, and the parking lot
• A "Guilty / Innocent / I know someone" verdict for every rule - tick as you go
• Repeat Offender Alerts for the worst crimes (you know the ones)
• A final scoring page that reveals whether you may keep this book... or whether it was clearly bought for you

It takes an evening to read and a lifetime to master. It's the perfect gift for the housemate, coworker, sibling, or partner who needs it - and the perfect way to say so without saying so.

Makes an ideal white elephant gift, Secret Santa pick, stocking stuffer, or pointed birthday present.

Warning: recipients will know exactly why they received it.