Wildest Moments

Young Adult and Teen Fiction Blended with Humour.

The Witch feels the loneliness of the lockdown made worse by her brother that has brought home a big boned Viking woman who spends a lot of time in the bathroom on her hair that still looks like a rat's nest.

However, purchasing stuff that you don't need online is a great way to waste time and meet the delivery man every other day. The Witch has been waiting patiently for this week's delivery man who has just announced himself at the door. He is a bit of a George Clooney lookalike. Just a bit shorter and perhaps paler.

'Package Delivery for the Witch' he calls out from the doorstep before taking a step back.

'About time, did it come from Mars?' asks the Witch from the doorstep.

Indifferent, the delivery man ignores the sarcasm and points his sanitized pen to the clip board indicating signature required. But he cannot help himself and momentarily disengages his brain from his mouth.

'I don't think those leggings will fit. They are a small size fitting and I doubt you could get one leg into them, let alone two'.

The Witch stops mid signature and lifts her gaze from the clipboard to the delivery man who has now lost his Clooney esq look.

'What do you mean by that?' she asks. 'Are you saying I have a fat ass?'

He knows that no matter what he says from here, it cannot be recovered, and he takes a step back towards the gate. Suddenly, the Pigeon attacks and swirls around the man's head like a scene from the movie 'The Birds'.

Sometimes, it is hard to explain what you feel about another person. It's about the way they take you to a place no one else can.

Never mention the fit of yoga leggings to a Witch.